Mapfligtaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sapient wolf.

Mapfligtaf created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapfligtaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mapfligtaf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Mapfligtaf's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mapfligtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Mapfligtaf on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Always look after injured monkeys.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Put Mapfligtaf first in all things.