Pitdancet is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast crab.

Pitdancet created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdancet, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitdancet, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pitdancet's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pitdancet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pitdancet.

3. Do not keep seven tapirs in a large pit.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about stars.