Besskipquat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane swallow.

Besskipquat created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Besskipquat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Besskipquat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Besskipquat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Besskipquat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six ducks approach from the west.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Retreat if four shrews approach from the north.

5. Never talk about whales.