Hitsinpig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, almighty finch.

Hitsinpig created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitsinpig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hitsinpig, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hitsinpig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hitsinpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never wear brown skirts.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Do not take Hitsinpig's name in vain.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.