Henarpponren is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish hyena.

Henarpponren created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Henarpponren, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Henarpponren, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Henarpponren's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Henarpponren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Henarpponren.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.