Sandfag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, quiet tortoise.

Sandfag created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Sandfag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sandfag, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sandfag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Sandfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away if four dogs approach from the west.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Hide if three frogs approach from the south.