Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, flying camel.

Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan cats for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepgarqueeg Jigfenshav.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.