Bedfosswod is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic mole.

Bedfosswod created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedfosswod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bedfosswod, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bedfosswod's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bedfosswod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from red nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Feed all hungry mites.