Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fussy badger.

Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav, she will send you a sign.

Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Put Jigrenpig Arfbessquat Butganshav first in all things.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Hide from mauve squirrels for they are unholy.