Barnbapyat is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic bat.

Barnbapyat created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnbapyat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Barnbapyat, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Barnbapyat's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Barnbapyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Always look after injured doves.