Govlidnak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, generous giraffe.

Govlidnak created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govlidnak, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govlidnak, it will not care at all.

Govlidnak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Govlidnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never feed parsnips to shrews while wearing cyan rings.

3. Never feed bread to horses while wearing hats.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.