Sawdissged Binyattcan is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil tortoise.

Sawdissged Binyattcan created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawdissged Binyattcan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sawdissged Binyattcan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Sawdissged Binyattcan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Sawdissged Binyattcan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sawdissged Binyattcan four times a day.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sawdissged Binyattcan.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.