Vonkgamyam Laphogwit is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, astonishing dog.

Vonkgamyam Laphogwit created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgamyam Laphogwit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonkgamyam Laphogwit, she will think nothing of it.

Vonkgamyam Laphogwit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vonkgamyam Laphogwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat bark.