Dumviljam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fussy cobra.

Dumviljam created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumviljam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dumviljam, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dumviljam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dumviljam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four platinum sculptures of Dumviljam on top of important buildings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

5. You must never eat grapes.