Fabcussag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic whale.

Fabcussag created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabcussag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fabcussag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fabcussag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fabcussag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Fabcussag loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Hide if five bats approach from the west.