Tettibatbest is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, weak snail.

Tettibatbest created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettibatbest, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tettibatbest, she will not care at all.

Tettibatbest's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tettibatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never skip in the presence of doves.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Fast once a month.