Lopzedcip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-confident ferret.

Lopzedcip created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopzedcip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lopzedcip, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lopzedcip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Lopzedcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lopzedcip.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Always obey Lopzedcip's priests.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.