Madappbad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ill-tempered fox.

Madappbad created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madappbad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Madappbad, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Madappbad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Madappbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.