Tarnadyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, boastful bear.

Tarnadyim created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarnadyim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarnadyim, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tarnadyim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tarnadyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never feed nuts to aardvarks while wearing jumpers.

3. Never talk about dark matter near otters while wearing indigo scarves and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tarnadyim on top of all buildings.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.