Kadlarpab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish gnu.

Kadlarpab created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kadlarpab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadlarpab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kadlarpab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kadlarpab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kadlarpab.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.