Nuldondud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional badger.

Nuldondud created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuldondud, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nuldondud, she will torture you forever.

Nuldondud's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nuldondud's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four goats approach from the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.