Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, strong camel.

Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Ranbafdav Zagvonkzak in the centre of the settlement.