Largbelltigfem is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witless pigeon.

Largbelltigfem created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Largbelltigfem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Largbelltigfem, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Largbelltigfem's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Largbelltigfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Largbelltigfem loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Largbelltigfem loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not chop down trees.