Bapnatyatponlincunbess is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, deceitful mink.

Bapnatyatponlincunbess created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapnatyatponlincunbess, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapnatyatponlincunbess, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bapnatyatponlincunbess' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bapnatyatponlincunbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near goats while wearing orange corsets and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.