Flanrutbin is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced crow.

Flanrutbin created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanrutbin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flanrutbin, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Flanrutbin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Flanrutbin's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always obey Flanrutbin's priests.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing orange skirts and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.