Bastbungupfebsancin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing dugong.

Bastbungupfebsancin created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Bastbungupfebsancin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bastbungupfebsancin, it will turn you into a plant.

Bastbungupfebsancin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bastbungupfebsancin's Holy Commandments

1. Bastbungupfebsancin loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about gravity near dolphins while wearing pink tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your feet.

5. You must never eat apples.