Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart, he will turn you into a mouse.

Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jatyakzogfarn Tabyattquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never run near grasshopers.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.