Ganfenfag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring mouse.

Ganfenfag created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganfenfag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ganfenfag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Ganfenfag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ganfenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo dogs, for they are unholy.

2. Ganfenfag loves swans, so they must be honoured.

3. Never hurt tortoises.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

5. Put Ganfenfag first in all things.