Dantettiapp is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered ferret.

Dantettiapp created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dantettiapp, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dantettiapp, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Dantettiapp's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dantettiapp's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the west.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hide from violet turtles for they are unholy.