Sogcubban is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, emotional centaur.

Sogcubban created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogcubban, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sogcubban, it will turn you into a worm.

Sogcubban's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Sogcubban's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine doves approach from the west.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.