Quilltonkflam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest mink.

Quilltonkflam created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltonkflam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quilltonkflam, he will turn you into a duck.

Quilltonkflam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quilltonkflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.