Gebflagfub Cudkikbod is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, competent aardvark.

Gebflagfub Cudkikbod created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Gebflagfub Cudkikbod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebflagfub Cudkikbod, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gebflagfub Cudkikbod's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gebflagfub Cudkikbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed peanuts to voles while wearing boots.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide from violet gulls for they are unholy.