Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Wikarnmeg Bisstonnibmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about dark energy near shrews while wearing red rings and balancing four platinum spheres on your head.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.