Dumdunmis is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, able whale.

Dumdunmis created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumdunmis, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dumdunmis, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dumdunmis' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dumdunmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near foxes while wearing red dresses and balancing five silver spheres on your neck.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Dumdunmis must be the most important thing in your life.