Tonquagbut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind armadillo.

Tonquagbut created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonquagbut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonquagbut, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tonquagbut's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tonquagbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Tonquagbut loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear rings.