Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish parrot.

Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap, she will be mildly annoyed.

Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. You must love Sabrulljon Funwikhaphap.

5. Respect your elders.