Lagbidapp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient frog.

Lagbidapp created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagbidapp, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lagbidapp, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Lagbidapp's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lagbidapp's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Lagbidapp on top of all buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagbidapp.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not stand on grass.