Wottim Kannatfas is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, generous hummingbird.

Wottim Kannatfas created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wottim Kannatfas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wottim Kannatfas, he will send minions to preach to you.

Wottim Kannatfas' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wottim Kannatfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Never feed coconuts to grasshopers while wearing purple scarves.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Hide from indigo moths for they are unholy.