Jopsintanjampodtomtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless wombat.

Jopsintanjampodtomtonk created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopsintanjampodtomtonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopsintanjampodtomtonk, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jopsintanjampodtomtonk's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jopsintanjampodtomtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the south.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not listen to music.