Stafmetgig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring wombat.

Stafmetgig created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmetgig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafmetgig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Stafmetgig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stafmetgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest brown.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Run away from green shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not cook food in pots.