Gutbopstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking dugong.

Gutbopstaf created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbopstaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gutbopstaf, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gutbopstaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gutbopstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.