Nelxenrawvon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, loving seal.

Nelxenrawvon created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelxenrawvon, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nelxenrawvon, it will torture you forever.

Nelxenrawvon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nelxenrawvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.