Jadfendub Stragmifcet is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental dugong.

Jadfendub Stragmifcet created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadfendub Stragmifcet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jadfendub Stragmifcet, he will turn you into a sheep.

Jadfendub Stragmifcet's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jadfendub Stragmifcet's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry voles.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat apples.