Jopgofzog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, narcissistic crow.

Jopgofzog created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Jopgofzog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jopgofzog, she will torture you forever.

Jopgofzog's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jopgofzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Jopgofzog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.