Tunflaghun is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sapient raccoon.

Tunflaghun created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tunflaghun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunflaghun, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tunflaghun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tunflaghun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. You must love Tunflaghun.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not take Tunflaghun's name in vain.