Minjapzagtim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring coyote.

Minjapzagtim created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minjapzagtim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Minjapzagtim, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Minjapzagtim's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Minjapzagtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Minjapzagtim.

4. Run away if five eagles approach from the east.

5. Put Minjapzagtim first in all things.