Zobcabtof is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, omniscient hydra.

Zobcabtof created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zobcabtof, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zobcabtof, it will make you grow a tail.

Zobcabtof's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zobcabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.