Tagtitkop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, two-faced walrus.

Tagtitkop created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagtitkop, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tagtitkop, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tagtitkop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tagtitkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never bounce in the presence of ducks.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.