Armcumtan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident dryad.

Armcumtan created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armcumtan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Armcumtan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Armcumtan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Armcumtan's Holy Commandments

1. Armcumtan loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Retreat if four horses approach from the west.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.