Arnvonkwad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, egotistical alligator.

Arnvonkwad created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnvonkwad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arnvonkwad, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arnvonkwad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Arnvonkwad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arnvonkwad.

2. Never sprint near swans.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never run in holy places.